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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Good Vibrations: yes..it is about THAT



Sometimes I wish I could be as candid as Samantha Jones, don't you?  I mean really, we all have taken a trip or two around the "neck massager" aisle at Brookstone haven't we?  Why is it so important that in this day & age women cannot be sexually straight-forward?  I don't get it.  Let's say it out loud, shall we?


VIBRATOR!!!!  That was liberating wasn't it?


We all have a bedside drawer with something special in it don't we?  OK, maybe I'm the sick one, but at least I can own up to it.  My "neck" can get a bit sore from time to time & need a little "massaging."  What is wrong with that?  What used to be taboo has become commonplace in households everywhere.  Yes, even in your neighborhood.


Studies have been done & the facts are in.  According to a study by two Indiana Universities, vibrators are used by approximately 53% of women  ages 18 to 60! (I think the number is higher..they are just the shy ones.) Good for us. The history behind the vibrator is very interesting.  Early on, the vibrator was prescribed by doctors to treat female "hysteria."  I was also suggested to women who were depressed to enhance their mood.  That is one way of dealing with depression, I guess.

What was once found lurking in the dark back room of adult video stores & the back pages of Penthouse can now be found at CVS.  It is a health & beauty aid, right?  You can pick up some lip gloss, soap & a silver bullet.  How convenient. These studies have also found that women who owned vibrators had an overall better sexual health & awareness.  So that is a plus, too!


I have been married for 15 years.  I do not have to go into the ins & outs (pardon the term) of long-term couples, married or not, and their sexual habits.  We all know.  It takes a little spark (or just a few C batteries, in some cases) to fire us up.  I mean, once you say "I do" you are pretty much eliminating foreplay from the sexual repertoire.  Am I right girls?  Sad, but true.  Now, as with any intricate machinery, the proper lubrication, heat & combustion is needed for the engine to start (wow, that analogy even impressed me.)  This isn't breaking news.  I remember when the Divinyls came out with "I Touch Myself" and it created such a crazy buzz.  OMG...she talking about..you know..  Come on!  Let's not forget about "She Bop" too.  What did you really think Cyndi was talking about? 


Now, I am not talking about shouting "I love my jackrabbit!" from the roof top here.  I am also not suggesting that this be the new topic of conversation at the bus stop. There is a  reason we hide "our little friend" (can anyone say that line without a bad Cuban, Al Pacino accent?) in the back of the drawer.  It is personal.  A personal massager, for minor aches & pains... Ache: as in I have a minor headache & just need to relax and fall asleep quickly or Pain: as in you are being a pain in the ass & I just need to relax and fall asleep quickly.  Sorry, I cannot help myself.


I am glad that vibrators have gone mainstream.  At least you don't have to feel like a total freak anymore.  I mean have you ever been to V.I.P?  I have (for research purposes only, of course..lol) & let me tell you, it is a good time for all in there. There are women there.  Lots of them, with carts overflowing.  Why is this bad or embarrassing?  I say go for it ladies! 

In this day & age we need to own our sexuality.  Sexuality does not necessarily mean sex.  It is the true essence of being a women & embracing who we are.  After centuries of repressing our feelings it is time to tell ourselves it is OK to feel & be sexual.  No judgement.  Is there anything better than being a women?  Being sexy?  WE define what sexy is.  Not society. Not Victoria's Secret.  Not men.  WE do!  I believe confiedence is sexy.  Trying to be something we are not doesn't fly anymore. Be comfortable in your own skin.  It is not easy.  We are the toughest critics on ourselves.  STOP IT!!  You are beautiful.  You just have to believe it.

I think we all have a little Samatha Jones in all of us.  You might be surprised how much.  We gotta own it ladies.  Now get out there & own it! 

I leave you with the deep & meaningful words of Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch.  Enjoy!

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