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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

What's My Age Again?

How old are you?  I am 41.  I don't feel like I'm 41.  Do I really have to act my age? What exactly does that mean, acting your age?  There are very specific stereotypes when it comes to how old you are.  Now that I'm in my 40's, I'm not completely happy with what society "expects" from a woman "my" age.  I think there are lot of you out there who might agree with me..and maybe some who may be appalled at what my view on this topic is.  Whatever the case, let's do this!


The world tells us that we are mothers now.  No more fun for you, you know.  Time to wear mom-jeans, drive a minivan, let our hair go gray & go quietly about our business.  I am leading the charge against this heinous & disgusting infringement on our rights as "rocking mamas!"  There are a lot of us out there.  Women who say "no" to housecoats, frumpy-ness & lights-out missionary!  I may have a little problem, I admit.  I'm not much of a follower.  Like every woman out there, I do secretly care what others think of me, but I'll be damned to let it dictate who I am.  Love me or hate me, this is me! 


For those who may not know me personally, I was a singer in a band for the past 3 years.  (hence the "rocking mama" nickname)  I would often look out into the alcohol-soaked crowd & think "this kid could be my son."  Depressing, yes. I would always joke that it was time for me to hit the piano bar scene, pour myself a gimlet & sing show tunes at the Capri Lounge.  Singing in Dirty Blonde defined me for a while. In my new neighborhood I was the rocker.  Along with that came my fear that I was being unfairly judged as well.  After all, I am a mother of 2 small children.  What would they think of the woman coming home at 4am with the blow-up doll in the garage?  Come to find out, it was not a curse but a blessing.  My friends enjoyed getting out of the house, rockin along with us & having the same escape as I did.  No one cared that I was 40...including me.

Why do we feel the need to change who we are?  Who are we trying to impress? I understand that my days of doing funnels are over, but I can still have some fun right?  Having children or getting older does not mean closing the door on being true to yourself.  I can still dress up, wear makeup, feel pretty, be sexy, act crazy & change diapers, right?  Mama does not = boring.  I love how my age feels to me.  (I wish I had this much confidence when I was in my 20's.) 

I was never a "barefoot & pregnant in-the-kitchen" type girl.  Luckily, the man I married did not expect this either.  He understands who I am & what I needed to be happy.  If that included rocking late nights with the band, he accepted this.  He surely didn't love it, but got it!  I love him for that.  Expecting someone to completely abandon who they truly are is unfair. 

For a while there, I was worried.  I looked at myself & thought "who am I?"  This once happy, funny & spontaneous girl had become grouchy, miserable & dare I say...a nag.  I didn't like this girl.  I mean, I used to be a good time.  I could blame it on 2 kids within 15 months, lack of sleep and just overall bitchiness.  I could blame it on a number of things.  I had allowed myself to become this shell of a girl that was not me.  I had to do something about this. I wanted that girl back.  The girl my husband fell in love with.  The girl that I am.

I think I found her again..and she is much more fun!


2 comments:

  1. I really want to have pink hair again! But... Probably not as rocking at 42 as it was at 24.... Lol.... Okay so maybe just some pink highlights....haha

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  2. Well said, Susie.....never let the communication or romance go out of the marriage.
    As a quote I have on my refrig....MARRIAGES are not made in HEAVEN...They come in kits and must be assembled. -Unknown

    Still working on it after "48" years!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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