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Thursday, January 26, 2012

Workin' a Merkin

To pay homage to my most popular blog post to date, Mind Your Own Bikini's Wax, I thought I would revisit the topic with some new, interesting news on the lady-land down under.  It is 2012.  The year of the dragon, our supposed fate awaiting us in December thanks to the end of the Mayan calendar and....wait for it... the newest trend.  The Merkin.  Yes, ladies, the merkin is now the newest trend in hoochy adornment.  Now, for those who are confused let's end the suspense.  A merkin is, in lay terms, a pubic wig.  Yes, who knew that they had those? Apparently, less is not more when it comes to the vaj these days.  I, like most of you, do not understand the romance, but let's take a look & see what the hell is going on.


The owner of  the Completely Bare spa, sassy & over-botoxed Cindy Barshop from NY Housewives" fame, says that "the merkin business is booming." (It is winter afterall, maybe the kitty is cold? )  She has recently come under fire from PETA (get a freaking life people) for their use of real fox fur merkins in a variety of colors.  Now, getting a luxe vag wig will cost you a pretty penny with services starting at around $200 bucks.  First rhinestones now fur & feathers?  Are we supposed to create a diorama down there? I am still confused.


I thought the idea was to take it all off.. Now this is what we are supposed to go with?  Gives new meaning to hair pie, huh?






This disturbs me a little bit.  How are you supposed to conceal this under your pants? 






"Is that a peacock in your pants or are you just mentally deranged?"  Really, ladies.  I am all for spicing things up but this is borderline insane.  It' looks like a craft my 7 year old son would put together.  Unless your are currently employed at Scores, I am thinking that this is not a choice for you. 


The merkin has been around for quite awhile on-screen. I found this little furry nugget on-line. Gotta love Google.  Here is a list of the top 10 merkins.  I have to laugh.  Just saying the word merkin out loud makes me giddy.


There are a number of exotic choices out there. You can totally base it on the occasion & your mans personality.


The Black Tie Event:






The Star Wars lover:



The Golfer
(astroturf?)


One for breakfast:
(umm, bacon)



There is even one your Grammy can make for you:



Obviously things have gotten totally out of hand in the pleasure palace.  I'm thinking you can make any one of these with some household items, a trip to the craft store & a glue stick. 

Have fun with it girls.  Soon we will all be workin' a merkin.  OK, that was bad..but it was either that or jerkin and I didn't want to go there.  Good luck & please....keep it in your pants..




5 comments:

  1. Ha! A family friend who was a Vietnam vet first told me about merkins.... The Asian prostitutes used to wear them because American GIs in the 60s and 70s were used to seeing bush -- which the Asian women felt they didn't have enough of! lol

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  2. You are a seriously funny Lady! Would love to see a book written by you!

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    1. Thank you so much!! If only more people shared our brand of humor..lol

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